[Review!] Battle of the Greek(s) (yogurts)

Oh boy, oh boy! Sound the bells, let loose zee sails! Alas the day is finally here! After careful planning and deliberation for the past...10 minutes...I have decided to write my first ever REVIEW!

Since this is my first time adding reviews to my blog, I'll give you guys a little breakdown:
WHO: uhhhh, me.
WHAT: Review-of certain cooking goods/things I use frequently in my cooking. May expand to include restaurants, maybe. Stay tuned~
WHEN: NOW! / once in a few blue moons
WHERE: aqui?
WHY: For kicks and giggles (and possible usefulness so I remember what brands to buy in the future)
HOW: WITH THE POWER OF LOOOVEEEEE~

Okay, I'm done.

What more fitting commodity to review though, than greek yogurt. Greeeeeek yogurt, our story is one that has vacillated more than those really freaky viking ship rides at the fair that look more like death traps waiting to swing you into the air and ultimate death.

Remember when I absolutely hated Greek yogurt? I think I used something along the lines of "bitterashell" to describe what is now one of my all time, top-consumed food-both as an ingredient and snack in itself.

Now that I don't only shop at TJs, I have come across three other types of plain, nonfat greek yogurt. So without further ado, BRING OUT THE CONTENDERSSSSSSSSSS:

(did I say I was writing a review? I think I meant to say I was reffing a gladiator death match. How awesome would that be?!)

1. FAGE

All you need to know is that THIS:

Equals this: 

                                         

This stuff tastes naaaastyyyy. It doesn't even matter how much it costs because I never want to buy it ever again. Fage leaves this really gross, weird, overly milky after taste in my mouth after I eat it that kind of makes me want to throw up. Throw up = bad, THEREFORE Fage = bad. This is the kind of math even I am ok with doing.

2. TRADER JOES 0% 

Now THIS ish is pretty darn good. It is what I was used to eating all summer and I LOVE it! Good texture and no weird after taste. 

Price:  $4.99

Over-all: 9

Pros: Everything

Cons: TJs is far from me and you can only get it from TJs

3. GREEK GODS GREEK YOGURT

This is the hipster brand greek yogurt that I found at Berkeley Bowl. The texture is a little softer than the one at Trader Joes, but it does taste pretty good. I would say it is even a little bit on the sweeter side, and I was dubious as to whether or not it is 0% fat. But the label says what the label says...I also totally forgot how much this cost. 

Price: N/A

Over-all: 8.5

Pros: Berkeley bowl is closer to me, is very good for greek yogurt+honey combo 

Cons: Gets super liquid-ey from being in the fridge, needs to be mixed. Also, texture isn't as consistently thick and nice as TJs after sitting in the fridge. 

4. STRAUS NONFAT GREEK YOGURT

Price: N/A

Over-all: 8

Pros: Soft texture, a couple cents cheaper than the Greek Gods brand, also available at Berkeley bowl, good for ingredient in savory dishes

Cons: Slightly more tart than the Greek Gods brand, not as good in the yogurt+honey combo

So in this epic, four-way battle, there isn't really one clear winner. But because Berkeley Bowl is within walking distance from my house, I am going to have to go with a Greek Gods+Straus combo win, similar to that dual-win from season 1 of Glee Project! Each are good for their own uses, and since I go through tubs of yogurt faster than a jack rabbit running from a coyote, it's good to buy two tubs at a time. 

AND THIS CONCLUDES THE FIRST, EVER, EPIC BATTLE OF GREEK YOGURTS IN REVIEW FORRRMMM RARARARA~

Okay I am now actually, seriously, for reals, done.