Monday, June 18, 2012

Peanut Butter Fudge Cookies of Death

Yes, it's peanut butter, on cookies. With fudge. But I was already packing my honeymoon bags when I saw peanut butter. I guess it's time for me to reveal a little something about myself: I am hopelessly, shamelessly, and deeply in great-obsessive-love with peanut butter. Like, Edward Cullen status love. I would almost certainly writhe in fetal position in the middle of a deserted forest if I were to be without it. But that doesn't mean I endorse any of Bella's nonsense. Frankly she is an embarrassment to all the female gender, both real and non-existing. But this isn't the time nor place for that.

Saw this picture on tumblr before, could not resist. 

So these cookies? They turned out pretty fuh-keen-g a-mazing

True story: I could eat this ^  alone straight up for the rest of my life. And I wouldn't even be sorry. (because I would have already died of a heart attack)

We had to get a little creative to substitute for our lacking of condensed sweetened milk, but this actually turned out fabulously because we finally found a use (thanks Cousin) for the huge stash of repulsive, sugarless white pudding that I stupidly bought at Costco last summer.  Yeah, it's been just sitting there for that long, being repulsive, in my pantry. Blegh, what on earth was I thinking?! No, what were the creators of this offensive product thinking!? Brainstorming different cruel and unusual punishments is my guess. 

So yeah, the chocolate part of the recipe needed condensed sweetened milk. So instead we used the same measurements for the pudding, minus 2 oz which was of water for a more liquid base. Then we just stirred in chocolate. 

When I realized we didn't buy enough chocolate, I remembered the bag of truffles that was also hiding away in our pantry, not out of repulsiveness, but out of our fear of becoming obese. I am so happy I finally found a use for them that doesn't involve bucket-loads of guilt. This my friends, is being resourceful. And being resourceful is the work of good samaritans. So there, nothing to feel guilty about anymore! 

God, when I took my first bite of these cookies, I knew I was in trouble. I am pretty sure I could consume 10 of these cookies without even realizing it, in one sitting. And by pretty sure, I mean with absolute certainty. Thank god I have a job where I can dump my baked goods onto my coworkers, making me look like a really sweet, thoughtful person, and helping me not clog all my arteries. #ulteriormotives #mutualisms!

The cookies weren't as sweet and rich as their title would suggest, but just sweet enough (it's all about personal preference, if you are more into the sugary stuff, just add more sugar). And the oats give it such a yummy texture. And that peanut butter. 1.5 cups of peanut butter can do no wrong. The chocolate on top also turned out great considering our improvisations. It was nice and gooey but not overly decadent like fudge normally is. Our topping was more chocolate sauce than fudge, if anything. 



Difficulty: 3.5 (I was surprised how easy it was to whisk the dough together)
Willingness to make again: -5 and 100 -because I know I will be condemning myself to a life of stretchy fake-legging-jeans, but those cookies taste like what I imagine Mother Theresa's soul would taste like if it were reincarnated into a food: sweet and holy and beautiful. Oh dear lord I have issues. 
Over-all: 9.3
1. Should have been more careful about creating a thicker layer of chocolate because it spread more than I thought it would. Just on a looks standpoint. 
2. I am really interested in trying this recipe with jam instead of chocolate 
3. I also think this recipe can be made without the peanut butter *

* (I can't believe there are people on this earth who actually don't like peanut butter. I mean, I don't really believe in extraterrestrial beings...but...)  

4. 10 minute bake time is too little, but 15 minute bake time is too much. 

5. I personally didn't think the peanut butter was even that strong. But maybe (just maybe) I am a little more hardcore than most when it comes to my pb (you want the truth peanut butter?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PEANUT BUTTER! Except, I actually can) 

So if I just failed a midterm, or, you know, am just being me on a daily basis, and am craving my pb, maybe try 2 - whatever the heck you want-cups of peanut butter for a stronger flavor.

I've said before that life can always use more tofu, and now I am going to go back and amend that statement to say life can always use more tofu and peanut butter. Always, always, always. And can somebody say thai peanut-sauce tofu? YES. I will perfect that recipe and then spend the rest of my life fighting the temptation of making it and eating it for the rest of eternity. That is my destiny. 

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